Making it up to you
by FrozenBlaze
Summary: I know, I let you down and saying sorry won't help, but I'm going to find a way to make it up to you. A different perspective to a scene in Palumpolum . Snow x Hope re-formatted on 5/22


ATTN; I've reworked on my draft of this story and uploaded it since everyone (including myself) have shown irritation about its format. I will in the future , try not to let my insomnia get the better of me and my writing process. For those of you who attempted to read this story earlier, I am sorry to put you through that, now on with the show. This is my personal point of view on the scene in Palumpolum, and I tried to stick to the dialogue of that same scene to the best of my ability. If you want, re-watch that scene before reading this.

Hope you enjoy it and as always…

_**I do not own Final Fantasy nor the concept of its characters *Sigh***_

_I hate you._

_Kami-sama, how I hate you._

_So many have died, sacrificed themselves and you don't seem to have any remorse for them. _

_A hero wouldn't be as carefree like that. He'd respect and honor his fallen comrades._

_When I kill this hero in vengeance, will it make me the villain?_

Hope collapsed onto the floor, the battle with the Ushumgal Subjugator was tough for two people, it was still possible to win, but it's not like a walk through a chocobo themed park. "Aw yeah!" Snow felt the need to fist pump and celebrate the well earned victory, and the medic wanted to do nothing more than smack him over the back of the head and tell him to grow up. _"Gods, I need to catch my breath, but this bastard looks like he's ready for another round!"_

He took a moment to glance at his taller teammate watching him move around doing his little victory dance, as his muscles flex and that ever so charming grin and felt heat rising to his cheeks. _"ah, why do I feel like this, he's the reason why my mother no longer lives, I should not have any interest in him except to see him dead!"_ Yet, it was hard for him to turn away. "If you need to take a break, let's do it over there" If hope wasn't blushing from earlier, he was sure to after that insinuation. He decided to pass in front of Snow, out of fear at his straying eyes… and to be sure that Snow couldn't see the bump developing in his cargos.

"_I'm dedicated to my girlfriend, gotta stop looking at his butt, I'm dedicated to my girlfriend dammit, gotta stop staring at his cute. Little. Butt!"_ Snow chanted to himself, hoping that his mantra will stop him from staring at his charges posterior. _"Left, right, left, right, le- ARGGH! Stop staring hero!" _he got tired of his eyes defying his will and turned around to punch the nearest tangible object, hoping it would help him calm down, in mind and body. He punched a vending machine. The blonde giant just stared at the emotionless cold machine as it dropped a can of pop from its confines, with nary a piece of Gil spent. "Here". Snow tried his best to get on Hopes good side, it's not like he hated the kid _"I can't hate him, he reminds me so much of… her"_ all he saw was the person that he failed to save, reincarnated with ankles crossed and hands pressed against the wall behind him.

"I'm not thirsty" was his curt reply, with only a moment where they looked each other in the eye, and then it was gone; the Adonis turned his head away from him as if dismissing his presence. "Oookay" the blonde wall drawled out, pondering what he did to deserve such passive aggressive abuse. As he rubbed the scruff of hair on his neck in awkwardness, he swiftly walked up to the teen and popped the can open. "At least take a sip, you haven't had anything in awhile and I can't have you fainting on me, right Hope?" He said, leaning into Hopes personal space and giving him a grin before shaking the can abit, the contents sloshing back and forth within its aluminum confines.

With a light blush and a scoff to hide it, the novice medic took the can and had a hearty gulp and brought the refreshment away from his lips, a tiny bead of the sweetened water dribbling from his bottom lip before it was deftly wiped away. Snow was so mesmerized by the scene, ideas of what he could do, or could be done to him, that it didn't register that the can was back in his hands. He didn't want to look like some gawking teen to his charge, so he played it off as best as he can, with a light chuckle and a playful ruffling of Hope's locks and walked away with the drink. "Well, don't want to waste it." He brought the smooth aluminum to his mouth and came to a realization; _"Holy Carbuncle, this is an indirect kiss! Well, might as well enjoy it, it's the only one I'll get with him."_

Hope was in another world all his own, lost in the memories that this area of Palumpolum held for him. With a mother that cared about him more so than herself, looking out in front of a railing only to turn around to smile at him. _"How Could I ever forgive him for taking her away from dad and myself? I'm never going to see her do that again and it's that bastards fault! How can I be comrades with him? To watch his back? To Lo-"_ "I Can't!" he whispered to himself, willing his heart to forget how fast it beats when he's around his heroic guardian.

"Snow?" The boy asked softly, unsure of where his emotions will take him. The blond in question relished the last few moments with his drink with a hearty sigh _"If only every drink I have would come with a shot of Hope's Lips on the rim, I'd gladly become an alcoholic."_ He finished it off with a light belch and gave the boy his attention, yet only to stare at those lips again. "What do you plan to do? I need to know." _"What I plan to do? With you? Plenty of things. Against the wall, that floor, this railing, on top of this Soda Machine for all to see- Whoa! Enough of that! Girlfriend, hero, don't forget about your damsel in distress!"_

"I told you. Save Serah, protect cocoon and have myself a big, happy family." _"Yep, that's right, Titties and toddlers, that's the plan Villiers and don't you forget it."_ He told himself, mentally berating his conscience and his hormone driven mind "Still, it's a long road ahead" _"Mostly because your becoming quite a roadblock for me and my bike, but if you choose to ride me while I drive then all my problems are solved."_ The Giant didn't even bother scolding himself for that thought; he would go as far to say that his conscience was agreeing with him. "Or not so long. Whatever happens, things will work themselves out." _"I wonder how me, liking a prepubescent boy would work out and telling my fiancé that much will work itself out, sounds like a slap in the face to me_" He mulled to himself, trying his best to not look at the other in the face or else he might just change his mind on not pursuing the Adonis.

"Even if you're L'cie, you've got to keep fighting" with a show of testosterone, the sentinel launched the can from his grasp into a trash bin a few meters away, _"Ha! Two points!"_ with an accomplished laugh he turned to Hope to see if he was impressed with him, dear Shiva, he hoped he was. The look on his face clearly said not. _"Fighting. Fighting, fighting fighting, is that all that this… this savage brute knows?"_

"Oh? Is that so? And what if it gets people around you involved?" he asked in a calm voice, calmer than even he expected with himself. The look on the gentle medics face made snow falter, no words came to mind, he could only stand there and let it sink in. "What happens when YOUR actions end up ruining someone else's life, Snow?" Hope took baby steps toward the man that his rage grew anew for, walking closer and closer just to make sure his words hit their mark, that he could not escape what he had to say. "What if someone dies, what then Snow? " _"I've reached that point, I cannot turn back now, your time is nigh, Villiers"_

"_Why? _

_Why does that woman's face have to appear to me now? How can I make up for what I've done to her?"_ Snows eyes become clouded with turmoil, his mind in too much of a jumble to think of a way to evade the questions being bombarded at him. He's too busy remembering that face. That face that haunts him every night since it occurred. "How do you pay for what you've done?" _"Crap, not that question, anything but that"_ "I can't, all right?" He couldn't bear to look at him anymore when he has that look on, he turned away and focused on the railing now in front of him to anywhere else that wasn't Hope's face. That boys face and hers, oh how it haunts him.

"_Stop reading my mind, you little brat! If I can't even answer that question to myself, how can I to you?"_ "There is nothing that can make something like that right again!" _"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."_ "When someone's dead, when someone's gone, words are useless." _"It's not like I could ever find that boy she spoke about and say to his face "Hey my names Snow, your mother died when I lost my grip on her hand and she plummeted down into Lake Bresha, so sorry she's gone, but if you want me to make it up to you, you can lick chocolate sauce off of my abs, how's that for an apology?""_

"_He won't even address it, not even apologize, but to simply forget it and move on, like it's just no big deal?" _Hope was starting to lose his composure against the taller L'cie, his anger getting the best of him as he narrowed his eyes and continued the assault. "So that's it? People die and you just run away?" The tirade was cut short as a decent sounding thump was heard, as the bottom of Snow's fist came in contact with the railing, as if hitting it will make the harsh reality that he's forced to face, ebb away as the pain enters his body. "I know! It's my fault, but I don't know how to fix it!" He said sharply, with the tone of anguish and remorse that could not be held back. "Where do you start? What do you say?" He mind races, trying to think of a solution to it, but like every other night, nothing ever comes to him. "I don't know, I just don't know. All I can do is go forward. Keep fighting and surviving, until I find the answers I need."

"There are no answers!" Hope tells him with all the volume he can muster, so the block for a brain known as Snow, can realize this, if he had the strength to bash his face into the Concrete before him to wake him up, he would. "You're running from what you deserve!" Snow whips around, getting tired of the boy and his own mental abuse and they lock eyes again but now for a different reason from earlier. "Well, why don't you tell me what I deserve?" He says back, lashing out just as much to the person he was arguing with, eyebrows furrowed and teeth gritting in regret and irritation. "The same fate!" The teen yells back, his voice hoarse from yelling before crying out in pain as his emotions took form.

The pulsing energy came without warning as it erupted from the younger L'cie and struck Snow and broke the railing, sending the man flying off solid ground and almost to his death as he gripped the edge for dear life. Hope finally closed the gap between them, approaching the one with this nerves finally steeled into what he wished to do, and unsheathed his weapon of revenge, a dagger given to him by Lightning, the person whom he looked to for a way to become strong willed, yet it was given to her by Serah as a gift. _"Snow is going to die by a memento from Serah, it's almost like poetic justice"_ "Nora Estheim" was all that he said as he looked down at the sentinel. "She was my mother, and she died because of you!"

The face of the one he failed yet again came to mind, and the resemblance is uncanny. "You!" he exhaled in shock, the one he was looking for was right under his nose the entire time. "You're the one she meant!" "I've found you. At long last." But hope didn't hear a word he said, with dagger held high, its cold steel reflecting the sun's light he let out a anguished cry - and much to Snow's horror, time has repeated itself as a rocket blast landed near their location, their enemies located them at last and wasted no time in launching an attack. To the Blonde giant, it was all the same, first Nora and now Hope, was slowly falling away from him, to certain doom.

"_No, NO! It won't end like this again!"_ "Hope!" Without a moment's hesitation, he planted his 33cm shoes to the side of the wall and took a leap of faith. With an arm outstretched, he reached for the frail boy and held him steadfast; cradling him in his arms to protect him from anything and everything the world may try to throw at him. _"I won't lose another person, least of all, him."_ He told himself as he saw the city of Palumpolum rush up to meet him head on.

"_Everything I am, my body, my heart, and my soul; it will all be for him and him alone. This is how I will make it up to him"_ The Giant closed his eyes and braced himself as he sailed through panels of glass one after the other before landing on one that refused to break under the force of his frame and rolled onto a set of boxes, still clutching his precious cargo to his chest. His body ached but he couldn't help but notice how perfect the platinum medic felt next to him, in that moment, he realized that he had fallen hard for him, both figuratively and literally. Before he could pass out he made a promise to himself; _"As Eden as my Witness, I will not let him face life without me by his side, he may have lost a mother, but I'll stay with him forever as his lover."_

I'm sorry if it wasn't up to par with my other works; writing at night due to a few days of insomnia wasn't my greatest idea. Give me some honest feedback to mull over as my quest through finals draws to an end.

Cheers!


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